Murphy's Laws of Computing

MURPHY'S LAWS 
OF 
COMPUTING

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.

3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.

4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.

5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

6. To err is human . . . to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.

7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up.

8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.

9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.

10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do. 

State of the Art
	Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete
	Any computer you own.
Microsecond
	The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3
	Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a  Microsecond ago."
Syntax Error
	Walking into a computer store and saying "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."
Hard Drive
	The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.
GUI
	What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced "gooey")
Keyboard
	The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse
	An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy
	The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer
	A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
Disk Crash
	A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Power User
	Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System Update
	A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.